Chimera -- Dreams and Enigma

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 07:20:00 +0000

It has been much too long. Let me begin with one word: crazy. This past semester, which ended last Friday, has been the most maddening form of Academic Indulgence I've ever experienced. Not one of the 26 of us has ever been pushed so hard, I reckon. Myself included.
But like I tell the folks here as I describe our mind-boggling, jaw-dropping curriculum to them: the experience has been incredible, the amount of knowledge I've acquired is staggering, and I couldn't have done it without help and support from home...mainly, keeping me sane and keeping me with a life beyond school.
My writing had a take a step back, but was never forgotten. In my last week of school, I felt my characters coming back with friendly, patient greetings, waiting for me to return to them, to bring my experiences of the past 5 months (school and beyond) into them. I am astounded by the convoluted mess I have made of my Origin series. 5 months of absence, and I return to a bunch of stories that I can make no head or tail out of because I kept copying and pasting the same things here and there, hoping to be able to recycle material in new contexts.
Took me 2 hours to sort everything out and delete stuff so I won't be confused. Jessie made a very good, very practical and sensible suggestion: keep notes. Duh, why didn't I think of that? I do keep notes...just not the best of note-keepers.
As for stuff I've already finished. They're waiting. Waiting for their time. I can't wait to see Mike and Mary in about a week, and ask them about the script and the filming. There is a time and place for everything, and you never know watch'ya gonna get.
This semester hasn't been easy. For me, for many people. Nobody said medical school was gonna be easy, on top of all the other things that have happened. Bottom line after all this, 5 months down the road, 7 more semesters to go, I trust in the strength I have been endowed with. I trust not in myself, but in the things beyond me, of which I cannot understand, but which have always shadowed me faithfully, with goodness, peace, and fortitude.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus......whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is anything of virtue, and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things. Philippians 4:6-8

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not upon your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 04:15:00 +0000

My mind is drifting.

If you know the difference between StarGate, Star Craft, Star Wars, and Star Trek...you are a true sci-fi geek.

Guess what. I do!

Yippee...

Ok, back to cancer biology.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 04:34:00 +0000

Man, oh man...You know you're studying too hard when you have a dream about Egyptian mummies, and museums vis-a-vie Brandon Fraser's The Mummy Returns...and the damned mummies are known as Oxidation Bodies.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:25:00 +0000

An Oral History

The other day my dad went to make a recording as part of a series of oral histories being collected for some national archives. He came home with a binder of newspaper clippings starting from 1977 when he first appeared in the papers. Pretty interesting stuff he used to say, a lot of unabashed critiquing and very eloquent (to the point of corniness, says my sister) speeches. I'm guessing I inherited my "penchant" for writing from my dad. He writes very well and writes all his material.

Like father, like daughter. I'm a product of my parents, no doubt about that.

And, like someone recently said to me and my classmates at a orientation speech, the government does what it usually does to those who speak up more and "make a lotta noise" more here in my home country. They take those people, put them in positions of power and responsibility, thereby shutting them up.

Pretty funny stuff.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:18:00 +0000

Wow...that was fast. Over a month since my last entry.

Let's see, what have I been doing...

1) Attending med school. It ain't so bad. JC was about the same. Could be worse. Definitely could be less fun, but I'm glad it isn't. My 25 classmates are awesome, and the setting of all our discussions and classes is Americanized, informal, and insightful. I think we're surprising the guys from Duke quite a bit with our openness and honesty about things.

2) The cat's been back for 3 days. Man, is she enjoying her newfound freedom. 30 days in a cubicle-like quarantine place with 30 other cats, and now she's all by herself in a big new house, and with her humans for the most part of the day. My dad keeps wanting to make friends with her, and we keep telling him it doesn't work that way.

3) Danny's got a new job at Biopolis. Wonderful place, lots of wind tunnels to keep everything cool, and he's got a much more research-like job than his previous QC job. He thinks he wants a PhD. We'll see about that...

All in all, life is good.

Except for the fact that I haven't had a spanking fat cookie in a long while, the coffee here ain't quite the same as Specialty's or Noah's Bagels, and it's hot and humid. California must be nice, cool, and sunny right now. Bloody tropics...
I haven't watched TV in about a month, haven't watched a movie in the same period of time, and I've yet to catch up with old friends here. Sigh...I suck.

But all in all, life is good.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 22:52:00 +0000

Today I end my 5-year sojourn in California. I return home to Singapore where I will begin medical school. I will miss this place that I've called home for the past few years, the people I've worked with, the friends I've made, the culture and lifestyle...But this is a choice I've made, and there's no turning back. We will keep in touch with everything here in America, that's our promise to this wonderful country.

On Saturday, we went to Skates once more for dinner. As we drove along the road toward the Marina, I recalled the time we went kite-flying, summer of 2005. It was beautiful, gorgeous, just like Saturday. I wanted to jump out of the car and run through the tall grasses, smell the sea air, and just scream with nostalgia and gratitude. These words come to mind: "Goodbye, America," I wanted to shout. "I'm not done with you yet, so I'm not saying farewell!"

I've grown and changed much, learned a lot, since the day I stepped foot on American soil at SFO in 2003. Who knows what the next 5 years will bring.

Que sera, sera......The future's not ours to see.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 19:51:00 +0000

I dreamed my sister wanted to hide away from everybody back home. She decided to change herself into a laptop bag to do so, and I had to go catch her. The bag was skipping about all over the place, jumping fences and rails, and hopping over water. Finally, I caught her (or rather, the bag), and it changed back to Miss Pamela Tan. She looked at me grouchily and pouted.

Then...I woke up.

I told Pam about that dream, and she's like, "Wha...?" I told her it was probably because I was thinking about my new laptop tote/handbag, and also, Harry Potter opened this week.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 06:10:00 +0000

Transformers was AWESOME!

Watched a sneak peek on Sunday night. It was totally worth staying up till 2am, and then getting up for work at 830am.

And in my semi-drunken stupor (induced by drinking white wine while watching people play Gears of War on a 56-inch TV, and then driving for dinner at someone's house where the entertainment was Season 1 of Family Guy, followed by the battle scenes of 300), I ended up doing this:Look...everyone was choosing the Autobots and Optimus Prime. Nobody wanted the baddies, so I chose the ultimate bad guy....MEGATRON! Whoo-hoo!

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 22:42:00 +0000

Watched Silver Surfer and Ocean's Thirteen last night. Both are meh movies, but at zero cost, I'm not complaining.

I read Richard Matheson's I Am Legend yesterday afternoon. It's an old story, first of its kind, and yes...about vampires. But this is a far cry from Anne Rice and pulp vampire fiction books. This is about a man being the legend, not the vampire. I can't wait to watch the movie with Will Smith in it.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 04:25:00 +0000

My favorite lines from Gone With the Wind:

1) Land is the only thing worth working for, worth fighting for, worth dying for. Because it's the only thing that lasts...... - Gerald O'Hara to daughter, Scarlett.

2) As God is my witness...I'll never be hungry again...If I have to lie, steal, cheat, or kill, as God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!...... - Scarlett O'Hara.

3) Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. - Rhett Butler to Scarlett.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 04:02:00 +0000

The first and, hopefully, last rant I will put on this blog. I don't like ranting.

Just finished watching Blood Diamond. I never was a fan of sparkling things and bling bling. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of jewelry and gems in shops and in magazines, or in any other types of media featuring weddings, and I wonder whether or not to pester my beloved for a brilliant stone. Why not? Every other woman seems to love diamonds. But after watching the movie, I am all the more so inclined to stay as I am - unattracted to such things, content and happy as I am. Why?

1) Bright and shiny. So? Can I watch TV on it? No. Will it engage me in intellectually stimulating conversation? I highly doubt it. Can I wear it constantly and show it off? Well...it might get scratched or lost, then I'd be pissed.

2) Is it really everlasting? As all science majors know, the answer is a resounding no. Diamonds are freaking carbon atoms arranged in pyramidal shape, forged from prolonged periods of high temperature and pressure from graphite. Pencil lead, people. Yeah, the stuff on the pointy end of your pencil. They're allotropes. Enough time, pressure, and temperature, the stuff reverts back to pencil lead. Nuff said.

3) Is it worth getting the smashing stone, knowing people are killing each other for it in some impoverished third world country? I've seen third world, and it ain't pretty. Do you want to contribute to the problem? As Leo DiCaprio's character says in the film, "You girls think it's all bling bling. Well, in reality, it's actually bling bang."

Some people would accuse me of not seeing the big picture. Well, I haven't. I don't know the whole story. I've only seen a movie with a brilliant Hollywood script. But look, I would rather turn down a diamond, than worry about whether or not it came with a blood price.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sun, 13 May 2007 20:06:00 +0000

Two days ago 我拍妈妈马屁. Here's how:

Me: Hi Mom, tomorrow is Mother's Day. What're you going to do?

Mom: Oh, we're taking 婆婆 - my maternal grandmother - out to dinner. Tomorrow is 爱妈妈的日子. (Tomorrow is the day we love our mothers...)

Me: Oh, Mom, don't say that. 每天是爱妈妈的日子! (Everyday is the day to love our mothers!)

Mom (ultra elated): Oh, you just made my day!

This is the same woman who brainwashed me with the song 世界只有妈妈好 since I was a kid.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sun, 13 May 2007 20:01:00 +0000

Wow...I was there...

From the Straits Times. Saturday May 12, 2007

May 12, 2007
Going... Going... Gone

A five-storey building in Surat, in the western Indian state of Gujarat, tilts dangerously.

The building, which was constructed in the early 1980s, had started leaning to one side on Wednesday night, and it was evacuated the next morning.

The next day, it toppled over like a house of cards (below). There were no casualties.

The local media quoted city officials as saying the 'structural engineering of the building was not up to the mark'.

They added that giant billboards erected on the roof might have created added pressure on the building's foundation. Winds of up to 20kmh had also been whipping against the boards for several days.

Floods last year might also have weakened the building's foundations, the officials said.

Yeah...we all love India.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 03:21:00 +0000

Oh boy...you know, novels are shit hard to write. I'm switching to short stories. Yeah, like they're any easier. What the heck have I gotten myself into? Did I think I was really going to become a published writer?

Well, I can still hope.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 03:16:00 +0000

The Bar Chor Mee man...arguing about tur kua...hee hee hee...CCTV...

There needs to be more political satire in Singapore. Come on, all your Jon Stewarts and Stephen Colberts!!! Come out and make all the politically apathetic S'pore youths care!!!

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 16:15:00 +0000

"Origin" update:

I am no longer writing a series, even though I originally had FOUR parts. Here's what happened:

1) Parts I and II were combined to make something longer and stronger. Feedback so far from people close to me is quite positive. Thank you, Alice Orr, for that wonderful suggestion.

2) Part III was too comic-book like, and was probably something I just had to get out of my system. I think it's well-written, but too cliche, and "out of trend" with what I was trying to achieve with the previous parts. I've decided to consider this part as completely unpublishable, but the history and background of characters established in highly useful for my purposes.

3) Without Part III, Part IV is useless. The material in Part IV is wholly useable, though.

So...here's the lowdown:

1) I now have a standalone novel, and I removed the original cliffhanger I wrote in January 2007 (though I must admit the cliffhanger was pretty awesome).

2) I am writing a second novel based on ONE (and only ONE) character from the above. There are few connections, it's completely different in style, and I'm almost starting from scratch. I am going from a thriller-type novel to a historical one.

Wish me luck...In 3 months' time, I may not be able to write creatively for 8 long years. Sigh...

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 19:03:00 +0000

Cross those fingers people...

1) Maybe I'll be a Hollywood scriptwriter. Shooting's supposed to be in June. Can't wait to see what my writing looks on-screen.

2) Sent out some queries last week to agents. Queued up with the last-minute folks trying to mail off taxes. So clever, huh? What a waste of half an hour...Moreover, my queries right now are cold. I'm just hoping I get the rejection letters sooner rather than later, so I'll know that it's time to just move on. Sigh...

Seriously, Publishing Fairy, where art thou???

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sat, 03 Mar 2007 00:02:00 +0000

Dear Cousins (first and second, Mom's and Dad's side etc etc, esp. Mom's side) :

I had a lot of fun growing up with all of you. You know who you are, especially the ones who crammed into my Mom's old boneshaker every Saturday afternoon to go 1) kite-flying in Marine Parade, 2) bicycling in Bishan, 3) Fantasy Island in Sentosa, and 4) anything else you guys can recall.

I guess it all started when I was 12, and we took our first overseas trip together to Australia. To me, that was more memorable than Disneyland. Most of us (including our parents) began the trip a little uncertainly, because we weren't very familiar with each other. I think at the end of those 3 weeks, we all got pretty close, huh? And it didn't end with that, I'm glad to say...After Australia, there was Bangkok, Koh Samui, China, Egypt, and Chiang Mai (remind me if I've missed anything out).

I was reminiscing today with one of the "gang" like an old grandmother ("Ah Kong", you know who you are), and you know what, I have to say, if there's one thing my mom did that she did right with me, it was that "Blood is Thicker Than Water". She set an example to me by organizing little trips and gatherings for my cousins and I, thus instilling the concept that besides being great in laying down fond memories, our families are there for each other.

Of course, there's always the great food that went along with it. Food at No. 16, food at Tuas seafood restaurant, Uncle Jimmy's, No. 16...Oh wait, I mentioned that already, right?

Oh, and who can forget all those games we used to play? When we were younger and more physically active, there was Police & Thief, Catching, and...Soda-Pop I think was one of them? Then, when we got older, we "sat down" and played card games like Heart Attack, Taiti, Bridge...Oh and I remember there was this other game we used to play, where everyone sat in a circle, and winked at each other...I think it was called Detective, or something.

Other activities included gathering for the Saturday night movie, gossiping about school (in our school uniforms), and eventually...as we got older, the games went away, but the conversations, catching up, and drinking, and mahjong, didn't...=)

Anyway...

I've missed out for 5 years. And I guess we're all pretty grown up now. I think half of us has finished college (some are on their second degrees, my goodness!), but we've all passed that point in our lives when we were all kids, haven't we? And I guess a few things have changed here and there in terms of who's around, and who's not around (NS, overseas studies, work etc).

I don't regret leaving for this period of time. I've found myself in a different culture and had some amazing life experiences. I've found passion for certain things in life that I could never fully explore back home.

And yet, the call of "kith and kin" remains strong. Some people laugh at my use of this old Scottish adage, but hey, when you're British-educated, sometimes you just use those Ye Olde English words.

I remember when I was about 16 or 17, Shijin said to me, "I hope we stay close when we all grow up. Sometimes, people drift away, but after sharing so much together as kids, it'd be a waste if none of us ever stayed together as adults and shared our experiences with our own children."

Yes, just as my mom did.

Dear cousins, the point of this long-winded nostalgic essay is this: I cherish the times we shared together. Let's not ever allow those lovely memories to fade away. And the best way to achieve that is if we continue to have our little get-togethers, even after the "old" generation has passed, and show, not tell, our children that Blood is Thicker than Water.

In no particular order, this essay was written for:

CSYing (Honestly, you were my best friend-who-was-also-a-relative),
CSJin,
Pam (don't forget the wishing well!),
Mee Pok,
WSwei (I'll never call you Brandon),
WSJin (hey, remember when you were a "Min"?),
Lisa, Roy, Meimei,
Bernie, XYi, XXian,
Elvine, Elaine,
Darren, Jasmine

I sincerely hope I haven't forgotten anyone. Oh wait a minute, this essay is also written for all the parents of the above listed. Without your love of food and each other's company, I wouldn't have the memories I have of my growing years.

PS: If any of you would do me a huge favor a send along a photograph with most of us in it, that'd be terrific. I'll show you all off to my coworkers and show them the meaning of "kith and kin" too!

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 05:31:00 +0000

Just finished watching Stranger Than Fiction, starring Will Farrell. Beautifully written comedy (or was it a tragedy?) that hits home because I wish I could write as eloquently and so ironically. I am not a comedy writer, but I am an aspiring one. This movie was a real motivator.

Oh, and it's a great placement ad for Timex. Seriously.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 06:09:00 +0000

I am highly encouraged by this quote I found in Danny's page-a-day desk calendar, the 2007 "365 Stupidest Things Ever Said", by Ross and Kathryn Petras.

The entry for Tuesday, February 6th, 2007, was given to an editor of J.K.Rowling's, after her first Harry Potter book (Philosopher's Stone) was purchased for about $2000 in 1996. This editor told her:

"You'll never make any money out of children's books, Jo. Keep your real job."

Yowtch.

I love bittersweet justice. I also love it that editors, the guys who make or break a writer's ego and self-worth, can sometimes be wrong. That, coming from an aspiring writer who's New Year's resolution is to submit my manuscript this year.

Wish me luck. I'm almost into March. 9 more months of 2007 left to go.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 06:01:00 +0000

I've been watching Mind Your Language the past week or so. The first thing that strikes you is the bell bottom pants and the open collar shirts.

Then there's the heavy British accents.

And then the jokes about foreigners.

It's a show that couldn't pass the ACLU and Politically-Correct Police censorship tests, but it sure is hell of a lot of fun. I've been laughing so much every night during dinner, or before going to bed, that it's sure keeping me more stress-free and cheerful during the day. Highly recommended as a stress buster.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sun, 18 Feb 2007 06:44:00 +0000

Gong Xi Fa Cai...

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone. It's the Year of the Golden Pig. My year.

Oink.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 01:13:00 +0000

Remember how I said I was "done" with my Origin stories?

Yeah, well, anyone ever heard of RE-writes? Yeah, I hate them too.

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sun, 11 Feb 2007 16:58:00 +0000

An Inconvenient Truth

Al Gore deserves an Oscar for this documentary, and not because it was well done, but because he is a great spokesperson for global warming. As someone who has learned about global warming since Secondary 3, I believe what he says, and given all the crazy weather lately, what's not to believe? I hope someone steps forward and claims Richard Brandon's $25 million prize, because heck, I don't want my home country to go under when the ice caps melt. Yes, "when", because I absolutely agree that we're all frogs.

No...that's not a typo.

State of Fear

Michael Crichton's take on the whole issue. I read his book a while back, before I watched Al Gore's movie last night. When I finished the book, I was amazed at the way he rationalized both sides of the argument. Al Gore argues that there is no "both sides", that the side of the skeptics was invented by the popular press and by politicians. Well, who knows right? Personally, I think if Al Gore ever met Michael Crichton, he'd deck 'im for writing that book. And I like Michael Crichton, don't get me wrong, he writes great books. But State of Fear isn't helping the cause to combat global warming...

Oh my gosh, maybe Crichton secretly works for Mobil or Chevron...

Or maybe, Crichton's just thinking like a writer - whatever it takes to rake in the dough and readers. That's pretty much what I've been getting from all the writing books I've perused lately...

noreply@blogger.com (ZTT) — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 03:55:00 +0000

Wow...it's amazing how something traumatic (ie, being in Ankle Bar) can affect you. I dreamed that I had to go again, but I had 1 days' notice, and I had to fly on some crappy airline. And when I tried to check-in, I realized I didn't have my passport, and that since it was a Sunday, I couldn't go to the bank and get my passport from my safety deposit box.

You know things are going down the drain when you start having work-related nightmares.

Personally, I'm learning a lot, so my experience level is increasing. Which is fine. I just don't know about the company......